My life is not what I want it to be.
My life is no where near perfect.
I am hurting.
I am numb. Death no longer affects me.
I've experienced 16 deaths in 3 years.
16.
That's a huge number. My great uncle died about 2 weeks ago. I don't think I've cried about it. I wasn't that close to him but he was still family. He was still part of my life and I won't ever see him again.
My heart is in so many pieces.
I'm broken for my friends.
my family.
my campers.
the world.
the people around me.
We are in a broken world and I am just a part of it.
I'm trying to work through my problems.
I've had so much happen in the past 6 weeks of being back at school.
Losing some friendships.
Friendships changing.
Dealing with broken hearts and broken lives.
I need and desire God more than ever but sometimes I feel like he's forgotten about me.
I feel so under appreciated and not valued by some friends.
I do so much for so many and get spread very thin sometimes.
I don't need to be loved by everyone but sometimes I feel like all I do is give and I never really ever ask for anything in return.
I don't like asking for help.
I feel weak and I don't like to show weakness.
It's something I've always struggled with and will most likely will continue to struggle with.
I am human and I am weak.
I can't do this on my own anymore.
I need help.
I need God more than ever.
